there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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