"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize