Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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