Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
this boner is exhausting
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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