He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
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