It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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