so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
