sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
