Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
