no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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