she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
