i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
