with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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