so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
