He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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