i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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