Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
