So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
