I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
you had me at cake vodka
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
