Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
