Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Someone signed my nipple.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
