did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
