If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
