Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize