i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So much rum. So many feels.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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