WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
