I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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