All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
