quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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