so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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