We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She just used a chaser for red wine.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
