you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
