So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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