Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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