Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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