The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
