My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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