An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
