no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
