don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Randomize
