We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
