Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
