I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
