I accidentally burped into my bong.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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