Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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