Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I love you. Go after that dick
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
