im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize