can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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