another moral hangover. fuck.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
