If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
