Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Everclear isn't food dammit
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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