all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
