Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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