I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
