in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
