Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
