Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize