Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
