He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
