Umm I'm too high to move.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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