K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
