I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
