we're blogging at a bar
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
