There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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