i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
