Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
