and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
