I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
