if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You were trust falling into bushes
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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