kristin has been a bad kristin
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
