It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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