from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Is Oprah even human
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
